I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
