At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
