toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
