i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
