he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
third nipple confirmed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
