We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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