hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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