I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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