I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
