i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
