I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
