You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
