chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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