super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
