We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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