you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
there is glitter all over my balls
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