It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
