Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i drank out of a bidet.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
