True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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