She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
