She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
