I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he thought i was a dude.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
