I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
