Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
