my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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