He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
