i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
