I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
