I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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