Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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