Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
why is half of my head shaved?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
