No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
