Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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