i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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