So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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