Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
