If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
