Don't you send me to vm
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
