I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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