Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Randomize
