i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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