o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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