I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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