Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
