I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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