FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
