I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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