So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
