what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
