your thong is hanging out like whoa
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
