some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
