Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
