I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
