She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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