Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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