Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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(816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb

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(248): View more from Michigan

i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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(248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. http://tfl.nu/wwi7

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.

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(715): Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar. http://tfl.nu/6xi2

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(206): View more from Washington

No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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(206): No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE http://tfl.nu/0vv1

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(850): View more from Florida

I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

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(850): I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper? http://tfl.nu/y2i2

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.

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(203): There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that. http://tfl.nu/napz

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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(580): And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities. http://tfl.nu/eu72

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(714): View more from California

I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.

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(714): I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash. http://tfl.nu/gnlc

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar

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(978): Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar http://tfl.nu/tjlh

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.

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(508): This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies." (401): I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are. http://tfl.nu/26v4

Replies (17) Good night (4946) Bad night (710)
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(916): View more from California

So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.

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(916): So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones. http://tfl.nu/pw89

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..

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(605): I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us.. http://tfl.nu/2996

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?

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(215): Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard? http://tfl.nu/x05b

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(760): View more from California

Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.

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(760): Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove. http://tfl.nu/hs8c

Replies (8) Good night (1373) Bad night (268)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.

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(316): Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex. http://tfl.nu/moa6

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