ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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