ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
