It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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