Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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