Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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