dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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