my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
